"I was really stoned at the zoo last weekend, and there was an animal there that I have never seen before. Like, literally, I have no idea what this animal was. I was like, this animal, what I’m hoping is that when I get on stage, I’m like that animal and I know that I’m the animal. The people watching me are like, "Oh wow! I’ve never seen that before. It’s kind of like a bear but it’s also like a pig." I just want to show it to the people who are there— I just want to be able to express myself and to feel love. I especially felt that way after being on Saturday Night Live, because I had never been thrown out there and exposed, and I’m very sensitive. I think I’m brave, but I’m sensitive. After that, I just remember being like, All right, what I want is to feel love. Not to feel popular— I literally just want to feel safe with other humans, and I want them to share their secrets with me, and I want to be best friends with a lot of people. And when I can’t have that, it makes me so sad. Sitting in my house— I feel like maybe I do some dark tweets.” (x)
One time this girl really hated me and wanted to ruin my reputation or something so one day i was talking to a boy and she came up and really obnoxiously said “you know she has a crush on you right?” and he was like “man i hope so or else this is gonna get really awkward”
She fuckin told my boyfriend that i liked him
4 weeks ago with 356,103 notes
does anybody else think tired and sleepy mean two totally different things
sleepy is cute and dozing off and happy but tired is 10 cups of coffee and murder
1 month ago with 742,482 notes
Has anyone ever used the “You know nothing” catchphrase on you? There was one situation a year ago. I was having lunch with a friend and the lovely waitress came over wanting to know what I was gonna have. And just in my own little world, I was like, “Oh, God! I don’t know!” The waitress was like, “You know nothing.” - Rose Leslie
The only accurate way to report that 1 out of 4 Americans are skeptical of global warming is to say: A poll finds that 1 out of 4 Americans are wrong about something.
I googled ‘upside down cats’ and I am the farthest thing from disappointed
"That’s why advocates should not be talking about protecting net neutrality. They shouldn’t even use that phrase. They should call it "Preventing Cable Company F!#@ery" because that is what it is. And… there might actually be something you can still do.”
The FCC is trying to create a tiered, unequal internet, where corporations can pay more for faster speeds. They want you to leave them comments on this decision. Give ‘em your worst.